I don’t know why I let this upset me so much, but one of my sisters and I got into it yesterday over potential gifts/baby showers. My sister asked me if mom was going to get her this $150 breast pump that she wanted so she could “try” and breast feed. I said, I am not sure she was thrilled with the price, maybe you should talk to her about it. She immediately flipped out cause she knew my mom was going to get me a crib and that it was more than likely going to be over $150. She wasn’t happy that my mom was going to purchase me something expensive and would not do the same for her. I immediately said that it’s my first kid and mom has gotten you stuff over the years for your other 2. This will be her third. Only difference is, this one’s a boy, so she needs all new things according to her. But what I don’t like is that she kind of expects people to cater to her or get her what she wants. I told her she was lucky she’s even getting a third baby shower, cause people shouldn’t get one after the first baby. That really pissed her off cause she assumes that all babies should be created equal whether its the first or third. I was never insinuating that a second or third baby is less special than the next, but to me, baby showers are to help out new parents who are just starting their journey of parenthood, not a buy me everything I need for every kid I pop out party. Yes, she’s family and I don’t mind helping her out since she’s helped me out with stuff from her girls. Hell, I am the one who has put together a shower for her so obviously I care enough to do it.
Her mindset is not right though. She had a shower thrown for her down in Newport where she lives and was disappointed in the amount of people that showed up and said she didn’t get that much stuff. She even mentioned to me how my husband’s family is big and that we’re going to get spoiled and how she won’t get as many things as us. Honestly, I’d rather not have them throw us a shower because we already have too much as it is but my husband insists since it may be his mothers last grand child since he’s the youngest and no one else is having anymore kids besides him. Who knows, there may just be 1 more.
The other thing that irritates me is that my family wanted me to have a combined baby shower with her. My friend didn’t like that idea so she said she would throw me one since I am deserving of my own as this is my first child. My husband didn’t like that idea either, I was almost fine with it but now I see their point. I shouldn’t have to share my day with someone else who’s already had their moment. BTW, if my husband and I have anymore kids, I don’t plan on having anymore showers, regardless if its a boy or not. We’ve pretty much bought all that we need for this one anyways, wouldn’t be any different for a new child.
Another thing is, my sister, or anyone in my family really would not go through the effort to throw me a shower like I do for them. It’s pretty sad really.
And what most people don’t realize is that when you have a kid, its your responsibility to buy what you need for your child, after all, you’re the one who decided to get pregnant. Don’t expect or have this entitlement behavior that people should get what you think you need. Whatever gifts you may receive are just an added bonus.
Thoughts? Do you agree or disagree?
Wow i’m sorry but your sister is VERY greedy. For one NO you do not have to replace EVERYTHING just because you’re now having a boy instead of a girl. Most things can be reused. Secondly I completely understand about not wanting to pay $155 for a pump that she may or may not even open. And lastly this is your first child if anything your sister should have a little more respect for you and let you have the spotlight. You’re in the right here and she needs to really just get a grip. But that’s JMO.
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We do baby showers a little different where I come from. We hold them after the baby is born so people know what to buy and it’s a wonderful chance for friends and family to come and get a chance to meet the baby.
We have one for each baby…doesn’t matter if it’s your 1 or your 14th.
We play games, eat a ton of amazing food and have a wonderful time.
Sometimes there are multiple showers {ie. the ladies from church, family members} sometimes it’s just one big party but it’s special day just for that mom and that baby.
Ultimately your going to do what’s right for you and your little one.
Wish you well!
It drives me crazy when people have a shower for each kid. Usually close friends or family will buy the new baby a gift anyway!
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I think throwing a baby shower for the 14th kid is fine. lol…Celebrating that baby is what it’s all about, not opening gifts. For me, the sense of entitlement thing is kind of obnoxious, but I wouldn’t let it get to me. Maybe a get-together with family and friends is enough? Not piles of presents? lol I think it’s great you are having your own shower and you should just enjoy it! That baby will be here before you know it!
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I’m all fro a baby shower for each child. Each pregnancy is a chance to celebrate a new life.
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I never had more than one baby shower but was invited to plenty… not sure how I feel about it.
It’s only appropriate to have a big shower for your first baby. A small party with close family for your second maybe if it’s a different sex, but if not, one shower.
I am ok with one for each child. Guess it is up to the parents.
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I had a baby shower for my 1st born. Then when I got pregnant 4 years later, a friend of mine threw me a shower, but I was not planning on it myself. I just assume most people have 1 shower, not 1 per child.
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I don’t think that you have to have as big of a shower the second time around unless its been a long time or different gender.
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I didn’t have a baby shower for any of my 3, but I wish I had. I think you should do whatever you want to do, especially when you’re pregnant. Every baby should be celebrated, after all.
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I think under certain circumstances, it’s ok to have a shower for a 2nd baby. For example, if the person’s children are far apart in age or if they have a girl and are expecting a boy, etc. I did feel that a 2nd shower should be small, just family and close friends. I recently had my second child and didn’t have a shower although I did consider a “meet the baby” type of party.
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I think it should be up to the mom! It’s a special time for her and it should be her decision!
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All four of my baby showers were big surprises. For one of the four I had three surprise showers!! Def. nice, but no… not expected or even anticipated.
I this it fine to have a baby shower if there are quite a few years between babies. My good friend had one child then 13 years later had another. We threw her a baby shower for baby #1 & #2.
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The only baby shower I’ve ever had was with my youngest and my job decided to throw me that shower. I’ve always been independent and purchased everything I needed for my own kids. To each his own. I know some people do it for every child and if people want to do it, it’s really all up to them.
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I think it’s all up to the mother or whoever is planning. Life is special and I believe every Pregnancy should be celebrated
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I agree that you should have your moment as this IS your first. I think there are too many complaints on your sister’s part. Sad when siblings compare prices. Sometimes parents could never just get it right, can they? I say, just enjoy what you get.
We do ONE baby shower. If you have another child, sometimes a friend will throw a surprise “sprinkle.” A second shower is definitely not expected.
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I only had one shower with my girls and it was for my first and it was shared shower. So I can understand where you are coming from . I think one shower for one person regardless if you have boy or girl.
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I am totally against a baby shower for EVERY baby. I shouldn’t be responsible for supplying stuff everytime you decide to have a baby. I think people need to stop assuming folks want to give them a shower for multiple pregnancies.
I totally think that it is not other people’s responsibility to get you what your baby needs. That being said I see nothing wrong with celebrating a new little life!
I see nothing wrong with having a baby shower for each child, no matter how many children a person has. I had showers with all three of my pregnancies. Each child was years apart and it was a fun experience to celebrate the new person on the way. I agree that it is not anyone else’s responsibility to provide for my child. At my showers all my friends were invited even if they did not want to bring a gift. I wanted to celebrate a happy occasion with loved ones so presents were appreciated, but optional.
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I had a small shower with my first child, but my second, who was born 12 months later, we did not. I did have 2 smaller showers for my other 2 pregnancies, but they were all spread out, by 5 years and I had passed everything I had on to other family members. But when I say small it was things like clothes and diapers, nothing big as we bought all our big ticket items ourselves. The showers were more for celebrating the baby coming.
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